I don't know what happened today, but something turned around. I feel like all of a sudden I have this completely different perspective on life. Maybe it's due to the second death of someone I know within the past month, but I really have to stop taking life for granted and just coasting along. It's time to make the most of life.  At this point, my plans to transfer colleges are shot. I am already halfway done my degree and I just need to stick to my guns. Since I'm desperate to get away, I'm thinking about applying to spend a semester abroad. Anyone would be stupid not to. It's pretty much a vacation your college pays for. I know myself and I know being away from home especially in a foreign country would be so difficult and I would get so homesick, but I feel like there's no better situation to truly get to know yourself than when you're completely out of your comfort zone and you're forced to make it work. And if I want to get the hell out of Jersey, I think I can wait until grad school. What I should be focusing on is getting the best grades I possibly can so I can hopefully attend a graduate program somewhere awesome like NYU.